"All coins have three sides: heads, tails, and the edge. Intelligence is found on the edge of the coin, and in the ability to see both sides." - Robert Kiyosaki
I wish I wasn't writing this. I wish that it wasn't necessary to discuss racism. But at this stage, to not say anything, is to say something. I will likely fumble my words as I've written, re-written, and re-written again several drafts. This is a much heavier and deeper subject than most that I've written about. I want to put everything I have to say into it, but I also don't have the hours and hours to research and write (plus most people wouldn't read it if it was too long anyway). So here are some of my thoughts on racism and how we can, we must, all work together to heal this sickness.
Systems & Government
To say or think that systemic racism doesn't exist is foolish. Allow me to demonstrate. If the government truly thought that all races had an equal opportunity in this country - would they offer minority scholarships and other programs? Would they have instituted affirmative action? Would the NFL have the "Rooney Rule?" In today's, "equality for all world", the shear fact that these exist verifies that certain races have to overcome challenges that others don't just to be perceived as equal. With that being said, at least someone in these organizations is trying, they just haven't succeeded yet. Here's why...
The government cannot heal what is truly a heart issue. Pastor John Gray recently said, "We're not going to be able to heal this at the legislative level...You can't pass a law to change someone's heart." Rules and laws are put in place to deter and punish bad people. We need to stop creating and enabling bad thoughts about race. If you had a generation of all good people, no laws would be necessary.
Where's It Coming From
I believe that most of the people I know are good people. If you're not and I see that, we won't associate anymore. But we must all admit that we are likely 2-3 generations removed from segregation. There have been jokes, thoughts, ideas, and comments that have been passed down for generations that if not cut off will continue to permeate the divide between us based on skin color.
One of the better examples I've heard is this. Let's say that your child wants to date someone of a different race. They're clearly cool with it. You may be cool with it. But what would your parents say? What would your grandparents say if one of their babies was dating a ____________ (insert derogatory term of another race)?
We can't deny that it has existed in many families for years. Sadly, it was taught and learned. That's where we come in. IT STOPS NOW. If it didn't stop before you, then it stops with you. Kill the off color comments. Shut down the inappropriate jokes. Refuse to be a part of those types of conversations. Shift them towards being constructive and bringing people together, or at a minimum walk away.
Closing Thoughts
What do we do next to start mending relationships and healing wounds?
Again, this example is from something I listened to. If someone of a different race is hurting, tell them you're sorry. Before you say, "Well, I'm not racist. What do I have to be sorry for?" If their grandmother died, what would you say to them - likely that you're sorry for their loss. You didn't kill Grandma, you're sorry they're hurting. So right now, just empathize. Feel sorry, feel the pain that people are going through.
Have a conversation. No, you don't have to engage every different colored person you know. But be intentional about speaking, saying hello, smiling, and when able, to listening and talking about real issues you're both dealing with right now. We're only going to begin to gain an understanding of the issue when we have the courage to step up to the edge and look over into the other side to learn what it's really like.
There's so much more to say, so much more to hear, and so much more to do. But we can start learning and start changing now.
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