I want to share an article that is in the Deacon Magazine for Winter 2015 - 2016.
"Point of Order" by Joe McKeever
"Let all things be done decently and in order" - 1 Corinthians 14:40
Rudy Hough was a deacon who loved beauty and symmetry. He and his wife, Elizabeth, ran a plant nursery in Columbus, Mississippi, where he served the First Baptist Church as a deacon. During my nearly 13 years as pastor of that church, Rudy was chairman of deacons twice. He was a support to his pastor and a strength to his church. Not one time during my tenure was he anything but an encouragement to me. Each year when our church chose new deacons and went through the process of interviewing and ordination, Rudy took it upon himself to give a short speech to the new men.
"Now that you are a deacon, from time to time church members are going to call with a problem or complaint. Often, it will concern a leader of the church - perhaps the pastor or another minister. I'd like to tell you how to handle that call. Listen to the caller, and then say, 'All right. Come with me and we will go to that person and deal with this.' If they agree to go with you, then that's good. However, if they say, 'I don't want to go, I want you to deal with this,' then your answer should be 'All right, I'll go. But I'm going to use your name.' If that's all right with them, then that's what you should do, and you deal with it. However, if they say 'Leave my name out of it,' you should tell them, 'If you do not want to go with me and deal with it personally, and if you will not let me use your name, that's the end of it. I refuse to take anonymous criticism to my ministers.'"
I've seen the wisdom of that over the years. In the next church I served, two members came to my office with a complaint. "A lot of members are unhappy with you," they said. I forget at this distance what their specific problem was. I said, "Exactly, who is unhappy?" "Well," they said, "we're not at liberty to name names." In time, I learned it was those two and their wives.
Over the years, a number of pastors have told me similar stories of disgruntled members coming - and sometimes, sad to say, it was a deacon or two leading the pack - to deliver anonymous criticism to the pastor. First Baptist Church of Columbus is surrounded by a narrow garden of glorious flowers and blooming shrubs. A small sign reads, "The Rudolph and Elizabeth Hough Garden." All things done beautiful, decently, and in order. That was deacon Rudy Hough and his wonderful lady, Elizabeth.
My thoughts: Awesome article and insight on how to handle criticism and conflict for any situation, in personal relationships, work, and especially in the church. If you aren't man, or woman, enough to stand behind your complain, don't ask someone else to.
"Point of Order" by Joe McKeever
"Let all things be done decently and in order" - 1 Corinthians 14:40
Rudy Hough was a deacon who loved beauty and symmetry. He and his wife, Elizabeth, ran a plant nursery in Columbus, Mississippi, where he served the First Baptist Church as a deacon. During my nearly 13 years as pastor of that church, Rudy was chairman of deacons twice. He was a support to his pastor and a strength to his church. Not one time during my tenure was he anything but an encouragement to me. Each year when our church chose new deacons and went through the process of interviewing and ordination, Rudy took it upon himself to give a short speech to the new men.
"Now that you are a deacon, from time to time church members are going to call with a problem or complaint. Often, it will concern a leader of the church - perhaps the pastor or another minister. I'd like to tell you how to handle that call. Listen to the caller, and then say, 'All right. Come with me and we will go to that person and deal with this.' If they agree to go with you, then that's good. However, if they say, 'I don't want to go, I want you to deal with this,' then your answer should be 'All right, I'll go. But I'm going to use your name.' If that's all right with them, then that's what you should do, and you deal with it. However, if they say 'Leave my name out of it,' you should tell them, 'If you do not want to go with me and deal with it personally, and if you will not let me use your name, that's the end of it. I refuse to take anonymous criticism to my ministers.'"
I've seen the wisdom of that over the years. In the next church I served, two members came to my office with a complaint. "A lot of members are unhappy with you," they said. I forget at this distance what their specific problem was. I said, "Exactly, who is unhappy?" "Well," they said, "we're not at liberty to name names." In time, I learned it was those two and their wives.
Over the years, a number of pastors have told me similar stories of disgruntled members coming - and sometimes, sad to say, it was a deacon or two leading the pack - to deliver anonymous criticism to the pastor. First Baptist Church of Columbus is surrounded by a narrow garden of glorious flowers and blooming shrubs. A small sign reads, "The Rudolph and Elizabeth Hough Garden." All things done beautiful, decently, and in order. That was deacon Rudy Hough and his wonderful lady, Elizabeth.
My thoughts: Awesome article and insight on how to handle criticism and conflict for any situation, in personal relationships, work, and especially in the church. If you aren't man, or woman, enough to stand behind your complain, don't ask someone else to.
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