It's Complicated

Who all remembers the Facebook status, "It's Complicated?"  Man, I used to rock that status during my single days.  It could be used to show someone that you at least considered them more than a friend but weren't quite ready to make things FB official.  And it kept doors open to other relationships because they knew you weren't completely happy where you were.

But there comes a point in life where we get tired of complicated relationships - dating, friends, and work included.  Often if we can simplify these important relationships, we are able to find more happiness and inner peace.

Paul gives us seven quick-hitting points in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-12 to help us simplify our relationships, and subsequently, our lives.  You're smart people so you can look the verses up, I won't belabor this by writing them again here.

1.  "For this is God's will, your sanctification" (v3).  Honestly, if we got a good understanding of sanctification, we could end the whole passage right there.  If you have accepted Christ as your savior, you have salvation.  But the process of growing and maturing as a Christian is our sanctification.  I look at it this way - the day I was hired by my employer, I was a full-time employee.  I was "in" so to speak.  But since then, with a lot of hard work and over many years, I have increased my role, my duties, and my compensation there.  The same way with my marriage - the moment Britt and I said "I do" it was done.  We were legally married.  But now several years later, again through a lot of hard work, a lot of effort, and time, we each get more out of marriage now than we ever imagined.  You want more from God (as if salvation isn't enough)?  Put in work pursuing His will, spend time with Him.
2. "Keep away from sexual immorality" (v3).  The only people who even like to hear the topic sexual immorality are those who are faithfully married in a Godly relationship.  But it's in the Bible so we've got to address it.  Why would Paul (and God) worry about these relationships first?  For me, it's because they are the most intimate!  The person you're sleeping with, your spouse per biblical standards, is the most important relationship you have outside of the one with Christ.  That's the relationship that can make or break you!
3.  "One must not transgress" (v6).  To transgress against someone is to overreach the boundaries that God has set for that relationship.  If He created you to be friends, then be friends - not friends with benefits.  If He has called you and someone else to work on a project or a campaign together, then work on that - don't push it further and launch a business together when it was supposed to be a one-time deal.
4. "The Lord is an avenger of all these offenses" (v6).  Taking advantage of our relationships with others brings both physical and relationship consequences which we obviously want to avoid.  But Paul had in mind here the ultimate judgment day when all our sins would be judged.  We should be obeying God, our parents, and our spouses, out of respect and love, not fear.
5.  "Seek to lead a quiet life" (v11).  "A 'quiet life' is one that doesn't generate anger, conflict, or hostility.  Sometimes conflict or hostility are unavoidable - such as when we take a stand for righteousness that is in contrast to the actions and desires of others - but it should be our goal and ambition to live quietly and keep the peace." (Lifeway)
6. "Mind your own business" (v11).  You didn't know that was in the Bible did you!  Some translations say to "mind your own affairs" - go look it up.  Again from Lifeway, "Love compels us to help, support, and encourage others, but that is a far cry from meddling and sticking our nose where it doesn't belong."
7.  "Work with your own hands" (v11).  We all likely have something we are still forced to do, at home or at work, that we feel we've moved on or surpassed this task.  But if it still falls under our responsibility, it's there for a reason.  It doesn't matter how tedious the task, continue to perform it with excellence as if you are doing it unto Christ.

What relationships do you need to simplify in your life?  

Are there people who only talk to you because of what you can do for them or vice-versa?  

Is there a conversation you need to have with someone, or a group, to ensure everyone is communicating effectively and there are no underlying issues festering?

Pray for wisdom and discernment before firing off that text, tweet, or email.  Don't put meeting off, but get to a place of peace in your mind and heart before jumping into it with others.  The complications could end up being internal issues with you.  And even if they're not, God has a way of answering prayers and providing more than we imagined when we lay our problems before Him.