I get it, really I do. We all want to spend time with our loved ones at Christmas. We want to slow down to enjoy the moments without whirling haphazardly from one destination to the next. We all know we should be more concerned with presence than presents. But for some of us, it's hard. And in my case - it's not you, it's me.
With a recent tragedy in our family, I took time to reflect and several memories that came to mind were Christmas and other family gatherings. This concept really sank in the other day when someone asked me if I still had my grandparents. When I had to respond to their question with, "I don't," it got me a little deeper than I anticipated.
Actually, I never had many grandparents at all. My dad's parents passed away before I was born. My grandpa died when I was 6. I remember being sad. I remember crying. But I didn't fully understand death and luckily I was spared from it for many years. But when my grandma (Mama) died in 2011 just before my 28th birthday, I was hurt and not even fully aware of the treasures I had lost and missed out on. I'd be lying if I said I could write about her without getting a little choked up. So there weren't many grand parents and the family wasn't very large.
However, we were very close-knit. Every year, every single year that I can remember as a child, the Gregory's and the Player's (my aunt on Dad's side) got together on Christmas Eve. Since our families lived in different towns, we alternated houses but I honestly don't remember a year that we missed. Then after our two families ate, burned chips in candles (inside joke), and opened presents, our smaller family would open gifts on Christmas Eve night.
Then on Christmas morning, Santa came! The Blackwood side of the family came over for breakfast and to watch the kids play with our toys (or most likely sat and griped about the cost or how complicated the dadgum things were to assemble). Then later in the day, we all ate at Mama's for a late lunch.
That was it. We only went to 2 or 3 places if you count our home as one of the locations. That's why having soooooo many places to be is hard on me. I didn't get to grow up with that. But I do value it because I know that there are people who long for someone, anyone, to spend Christmas with. I'm not hating on Christmas or family - I love them both. I'm hating on my past and the fact that I didn't have all the madness to tend to, all the people to please, and all the places to go. But you know what, every where I went, and every moment I had, I was as happy as a kid at Christmas. And I hope that whether you eat alone this Christmas, or with 1,000 other people, you are with the right people and truly enjoy this special time of year.
With a recent tragedy in our family, I took time to reflect and several memories that came to mind were Christmas and other family gatherings. This concept really sank in the other day when someone asked me if I still had my grandparents. When I had to respond to their question with, "I don't," it got me a little deeper than I anticipated.
Actually, I never had many grandparents at all. My dad's parents passed away before I was born. My grandpa died when I was 6. I remember being sad. I remember crying. But I didn't fully understand death and luckily I was spared from it for many years. But when my grandma (Mama) died in 2011 just before my 28th birthday, I was hurt and not even fully aware of the treasures I had lost and missed out on. I'd be lying if I said I could write about her without getting a little choked up. So there weren't many grand parents and the family wasn't very large.
However, we were very close-knit. Every year, every single year that I can remember as a child, the Gregory's and the Player's (my aunt on Dad's side) got together on Christmas Eve. Since our families lived in different towns, we alternated houses but I honestly don't remember a year that we missed. Then after our two families ate, burned chips in candles (inside joke), and opened presents, our smaller family would open gifts on Christmas Eve night.
Then on Christmas morning, Santa came! The Blackwood side of the family came over for breakfast and to watch the kids play with our toys (or most likely sat and griped about the cost or how complicated the dadgum things were to assemble). Then later in the day, we all ate at Mama's for a late lunch.
That was it. We only went to 2 or 3 places if you count our home as one of the locations. That's why having soooooo many places to be is hard on me. I didn't get to grow up with that. But I do value it because I know that there are people who long for someone, anyone, to spend Christmas with. I'm not hating on Christmas or family - I love them both. I'm hating on my past and the fact that I didn't have all the madness to tend to, all the people to please, and all the places to go. But you know what, every where I went, and every moment I had, I was as happy as a kid at Christmas. And I hope that whether you eat alone this Christmas, or with 1,000 other people, you are with the right people and truly enjoy this special time of year.
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