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Sometimes the Task is Bigger Than You - Part 4: What I Learned

During my recent study of Moses, there were two very profound revelations that I felt spoke directly to me, two things I gathered that gave great cause for self-examination in my life.

The first came as we see Moses' excuses for why he can't be used by God.  Moses witnessed miraculous signs, even participating in them, and heard the audible voice of God with very clear instruction.  Yet even with God's reassurances, Moses felt unqualified, unworthy, and sadly unwilling to respond to God's call.

I was the complete opposite many times and this pointed out a glaring sin of pride in my life.  Any time I have been asked to speak, share, do a devotion, or anything like that; and any time someone has ever told me they enjoy anything I write, I have felt a feeling of pride, of accomplishment, of self-satisfaction.  I have at times allowed myself to think that I had any ability or skill outside of what God gave to me, outside of what He enabled me to do.  In studying Moses' humility, I found myself to be more prideful than I should be. 

My life, my career, my witness will be a pointless and fruitless pursuit if it is without the purpose of God.  That was even the whole purpose of God rescuing the Israelites - Exodus 3:13 concludes, "When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you shall serve God on this mountain."  He wasn't saving the people to bring glory to Moses, or even to bring happiness to the Israelites, it was so that God could be worshipped.  That has to be my central focus to; His approval, not man's applause.

The second came in studying Exodus 4:15-16.  The Lifeway commentary of these verses is paraphrased here:  Moses was to be the true prophet into whose mind God places His words with the intent that they be passed on to others.  Aaron was then to be Moses' spokesperson rather than a direct recipient of God's revelation.  Therefore, God was the revealer, Moses was the prophet, and Aaron the public repeater.  This arrangement is similar to that of the modern church involving God, the Scriptures as the location of His word, and the preacher as the public repeater. 

One, that's just really cool to see that all the way back in the fifteenth century B.C. that God was patterning what would lead people to Him and His teachings still today.  The rest was much more personal and both humbling and inspiring.  I felt ashamed, embarrassed, unworthy, and many other negative feelings when I first attempted the task of writing and speaking somewhat regularly. 

On occasion I would come across some golden nugget of information and feel the Holy Spirit give me additional insight to that.  But more often, I struggled to focus, study, and discern truth solely from the Bible.  My wife can tell you the amount of time I would spend studying, spinning my wheels, and winding up frustrated about an opportunity to share God's Word.  I know it shouldn't have been that way, but I wasn't familiar enough with God's voice to be able to clearly hear Him all the time.

Now, I still struggle at times.  And some lessons and passages do seem to have tons more information, insight, and inspiration, but I have been able to focus.  Realizing that I'm not a pastor, I'm not the only person who can understand or comprehend a text of scripture, and relying on study guides and books has freed me much more than I could have ever imagined.  I feared being tied to a lesson plan that may not speak to me but failed to realize that maybe it's not me who needs to hear that lesson, but maybe I am the one to share it with someone else. 

Much of what I write is original.  Some is simply inspired by lessons and devotionals.  While some is pulled almost fully from there.  But I do believe that it all has a purpose.  Sometimes that purpose is to teach me and sometimes it may be to teach others.  But God's work is always with a purpose and He always equips us to do His will, and I thank Him for that.

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